I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize