i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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