Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize