he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
