you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
