dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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