I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
