Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
