before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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