hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize