How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize