I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
