He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
