On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
