...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
