Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
