I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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