using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
