I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
