party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
how does that bad decision feel?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
