she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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