Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
