Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
