so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
