Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
