You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
