I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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