Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
