Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
