Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
