I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
