He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
