You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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