Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
