I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
