Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
