She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize