im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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