I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
