the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
