So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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