What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
