I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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