Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
