i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
