If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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