so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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