Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
