I just saw a hot homeless man
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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