I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
