You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
