I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
