shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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