Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
