you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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