I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
