its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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