You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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