: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
