There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
