When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
