her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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