I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
God I need to hump something, right now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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