You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
