You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
