i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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