He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
