omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
