doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
