I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
