how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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