I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
