it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
